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A quick web search on the term “graceful aging” brings up phrases like:

Combat the signs of aging.

Who said that we have to age?

Defy the aging process.

These phrases reflect the fact that most of us look at aging as something to be resisted for as long as possible. Regardless of how liberated we’ve become, many women and men still experience aging as a threat to their sense of self worth and quality of life.

To age gracefully in a culture which idolizes youth requires inner strength and wisdom. I’ve discovered two basic requirements of graceful aging. To borrow from the Serenity Prayer, graceful aging requires the “serenity to accept the things we cannot change; courage to change the things we can; and wisdom to know the difference”.

Certainly acceptance of aging is a key to aging gracefully — but which of the changes that commonly come with age are the things we cannot change and which are the things we can change?

Aging Factors We Cannot Change

One thing we absolutely cannot change is the fact that every day brings us closer to death. This one fact alone may account for a great deal of our difficulty with aging. As soon as we see signs of aging, we are reminded that this body is eventually going to die. As we age, we come face to face with our mortality, and to deal with this we must rely upon our spiritual resources. Our spiritual health may well be measured by how we face the fact of our mortality.

There is more of a gray area when it comes to identifying what else we cannot change, as we are only now starting to make scientific discoveries about the aging process. Nevertheless, there are some changes that are clearly inevitable as we age. With menopause, both male and female, we begin to live with a different hormonal environment. The appearance and function of our body changes and we must adapt. Our roles change dramatically as our children grow older and leave home, and we become grandparents rather than parents. At some point, many of us become parents to our parents as they enter their final years.

Growing older also brings more loss. Not only is there loss of many aspects of being young, more people we know die. This may be one of the most difficult aspects of aging. If we haven’t learned to grieve earlier in life, the all-important tasks of living with loss must be learned to avoid psychological and health problems.

What We Can Change: The Myths of Aging Revealed

Now that we’ve outlined a few of the inevitable aspects of aging, let’s look at some myths about aging to reveal things that can be changed. Attitude has an enormous role in how we age. Since much of the decline that people experience with aging comes about due to the belief that this decline is inevitable, examining these myths can help to free us to live happier, more vital lives as we age.

Myth #1 – The older I get, the worse my body will feel. The increasing stiffness and aches & pains that often come with age are not a result of age, but are due to lack of movement (if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it). Although there are some changes in our tissues as we age, we can continue to remain remarkably flexible and free of pain through something as simple as regular stretching.

Myth #2 – It’s too late to start taking care of myself — it won’t do any good at this age. A healthy lifestyle has been found to be one of the most important factors in how we age. Improvements in lifestyle (with the 3 key areas being good food, exercise and regular relaxation and rest) have been shown to bring improvements at any age.

Myth #3 – I’m getting too old to learn new things — Research shows that older people can, and do, learn new things. Attitude plays an important role here — if you think you can’t, you won’t try. People who believe they can learn new things do!

Myth #4 – Sex is only for the young. People can, and do, continue to enjoy sex well into their senior years. We are sexual beings throughout the life cycle, but sexuality is experienced differently at different ages. Changes in hormones will affect our experience of sex, and we may need to find different ways to be intimate. Relaxation is key here so that we don’t panic when things don’t happen the way they used to. We’re not over the hill, but simply need to give ourselves some breathing room to become familiar with our changing physiologies.

Myth #5 – The older I get, the less attractive I become. There is nothing more attractive than someone who has aged well. Haven’t you ever noticed that special radiance of an older person who is at peace with themselves and life? Attractiveness has absolutely nothing to do with age!

It’s never too late to change the two most important ingredients to graceful aging – attitude and lifestyle. Some of the most effective lifestyle changes are the simplest. Relaxation and stretching are extremely effective tools for successful aging. You can start with either of them right now. Incorporating these two simple things in your daily routine can make a world of difference in how you age!

Mary Maddux is a practitioner, teacher and writer in the fields of healing and self-development. She has an MS in clinical social work, has been trained as a Healing Touch Practitioner and has many years of experience in the practice and teaching of meditation. Drawing on her extensive work background in both conventional and alternative settings, she has created a unique series of CDs for relaxation, meditation and healing. Visit her website, http://www.heartofhealing.net for in-depth discussions and practical information on topics related to healing.

Author: Mary Maddux
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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On why the process of aging and growing old, although driven by negative force at a later stage is inherently positive and can change our perspectives on life…

Aging is one of the most normal and regular processes that affect humans both positively and negatively and along with physiological and physical changes, aging brings out many psychological changes in individuals. Although aging happens throughout life, the primary importance of aging is felt during the transition from middle to old age and could be considered as the most important stage of aging.

So what are these processes that explain aging in humans and what are the psychological theories that explain the differences in people’s thought patterns due to age related changes?

According to WHO, the world’s greying population has been growing steadily with the decrease of fertility rates and longer life expectancy and considering that aging is a part of everyone’s life it is important to understand the psychological changes that can occur during different stages of life when age becomes more than just a number. Age could be considered as largely psychological in that some pessimistic people may tend to feel older even before they are 40 whereas others consider themselves old only when they reach 60 and beyond. Age can be felt by individuals as a measure of health and physical manifestations such as greying of hair, wrinkles of skin or weakness of muscles can indicate changing age. Since most of us identify with our body, aging of the body naturally brings about aging of the mind and with declining physical strength, there may be a decline of psychological strength and this works like a cycle on age related processes. Poor psychological health in turn affects the physical well being of an individual. Although life expectancy of individuals have gone up considerably in the last few years suggesting the improvements in global health, individuals still tend to remain apprehensive about the changes in life that age will ultimately bring.

In psychology, Erik Erikson delineated certain stages of psychosocial development as applicable to adulthood or middle age as well as old age. As the individual continues to grow throughout life, psychosocially, the focus may be on generativity versus stagnation during middle age when individuals tend to contribute to their careers and family. People who choose generativity would be successful in using their skills at work or family or both otherwise with stagnation they can feel unproductive and unrelated with the world. The last stage of psychosocial development that occurs in old age brings out the dimension of integrity versus despair in which individuals look back at their achievements and accomplishments and may develop a sense of pride and integrity or may develop feelings of despair. According to Erikson, old age is a period of self reflection and will generally bring in a feeling of hopelessness or satisfaction.

I would consider middle age as primarily based on materialistic or worldly needs and old age primarily based on spiritual and existential needs. Whereas middle age is about ‘living’ and living properly and individuals focus on increasing assets, properties and savings for the future and also focus on achievements, old age is about ‘surviving’ and the primary concern is about health, illness and death related issues. In certain cases thoughts of dying can become very prominent in certain individuals and they may want to hold on to life through family or creative work which remains even after a person’s death.

Aging cannot be considered a strictly chronological process but rather a psychological process when there is a negative rather than a positive force that justifies a person’s existence. Even a child goes through the process of aging and grows up to an adult but since the child is stepping into the world and expanding horizons the process of aging for a child is positive and the primary aging phenomenon is through ‘knowing’ as a child grows up to know and contribute as an adult. Developing an identity becomes the primary motivation for life and with young adulthood, individuals quickly switch on to the ‘achieving’ mode as young adulthood is about using the knowledge gained to achieve money, fame or even enlightenment for that matter. The ‘living’ stage comes next in middle adulthood as I have discussed and at this time not only the fruits of achievements begin to reveal but the future is also secured with financial and emotional security provided by laying the foundations of family and professional life in the earlier stage. All these stages of knowing, achieving and living are positive phases although all these stages may have specific dilemmas, yet the final stage of surviving is primarily motivated by a fear of death and this negative force brings about the real process of aging. Thus it is easily understood why aging is primarily a psychological process. The fear of death reinforced in old age brings out a negative force in life and if this negative force is somehow overturned or made positive, the process of aging will no longer be seen as something negative and detrimental for an older person.

Of course, it is important to understand how the process of aging could be turned into something positive. The vast amount of literature, articles, TV programs, radio shows and newspaper columns highlight the process of aging as something largely physiological and something that has to be accepted, at best in a positive way. It’s as if aging is something negative but will have to be looked at positively. I would suggest that the process of aging being primarily psychological as explained by the fear of death, it is only caused by a negative force but it is not inherently negative and can become a positive process. I’m not suggesting cosmetic surgery or turning back time in terms of body image, but moving beyond body image and developing a ‘soul identity’ could actually completely overturn the process of aging significantly. Identifying oneself with the soul as sages do and developing a spiritual potential within could go a long way in actually preventing psychological and in turn the physiological aspects of aging. During ancient times, people led deeply spiritual lives and lived longer and looked younger than we do. Soul searching helps in overcoming fear of death and if old age is seen as a step towards one’s ultimate spiritual completion and the right time to explore other creative dimensions of life that have been ignored earlier, old age can become the most fruitful and the most positive phase in one’s life.

Reflections in Psychology – Part I – by Saberi Roy (2009)
http://www.lulu.com/content/5865445

Author: Saberi Roy
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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